AFL DRAFT: 5 Draft Storylines to impress the Footy Nuffs in your life.

Have a shot when the phrase “generational talent” is said on the telecast.

How drunk are you looking at getting this Monday night while watching the draft? Are you looking for pubescent-discovering-liquor-cabinet kinda vibes? If so, keep the hard liquor handy, because this drinking game is not for the piss-weak.

Tongala product Harley Reid has been consensus number one and Generational Talent for almost two seasons.

Then there’s West Australian prospect Dan Curtin who also has been labelled a Generational Talent.

Don’t forget former Generational Talent from 2021, Jason Horne-Francis who was also lucky enough to get drafted alongside fellow Generational Talent Nick Daicos. Do ya see what I’m getting at?

The footy world has lost its collective mind. To paraphrase Ingio Montoya I do not think it means what they think it means.

… It’s like how everyone under the age of thirty suddenly inexplicably misunderstanding what literally means and giving it the exact opposite meaning instead. If I hear the phrase Generational Talent mentioned again I will literally self-combust.

 – Harley Reid, is *cough cough* Generational Talent.

 Gold Coast is quietly building a future powerhouse

This ones for all you rusted on Gold Coast Suns fans out there. I know you can hear me. With your magnificent tans and your fleeting levels of interest in your local footy team. This is THE draft. This is the one to start paying attention. You may have noticed the Dimma signing and Touk, the grass eater  and Dean Anderson’s son are a great collection of talent to get things started.

But this will be the draft haul that will truly cement the Suns as contenders at some point in the next decade. The Suns are poised to get access to three top 15 picks that have been developed in their local academy.

There’s Jed Walter, a mobile, aggressive key forward who is the one challenger to Reid for the top spot; Ethan Read, a 202cm ruck/forward with outrageous physical gifts and Jake Rogers, a lightning quick, skilful midfielder.

For the Suns, growing their own will mean an end to the annual line-up of southern clubs awaiting their chance to poach disaffected former top 10 picks. If they’ve been born and bred with 1am Cavill Ave kebabs in their blood, they might be less inclined to trade that in for Sunday morning recovery swims in Port Melbourne in the middle of August.

 – Jed Walter, Magnificent tan.

 The Tasmanian conundrum

This draft has the biggest bounty of Tasmanian talent seen since Michael Divenuto was seeing them like beach balls in the mid 90s.

Three players are likely to be selected in the top 10 including Colby McKercher, Ryley Sanders and James Leake.

It’s a huge pump up for Tassie football and also provides an interesting wrinkle for teams looking at drafting them. Do clubs consider the possibility of losing these blue chip assets in a few years when the AFL finally lets in a Tasmanian team?

No doubt the Tasmanian Divenutos (my preference) will have a bounty of cash to come hard at established home grown stars. Food for thought.

 – Colby “Cheese” McKercher, Divenuto’s mate.

 Live draft pick trading could turn the excitement level knob all the way up to 11

Google “Famous AFL draft moments” and you may end up on a watch list somewhere. Why? No one has ever searched that collection of words before. Ever. Cue alarms, flashing lights and a visit from the Federal Police.

Sure, off camera there’s been some famous incidents, like that time former Essendon list boss Adrian Dodoro emptied a room with a mis-judged crop-dusting. But in terms of sheer on-screen entertainment, it ain’t no Takeshi’s Castle. More like turning the channel over to the ABC to watch The Late Show and accidentally catching Birds of a Feather instead.

This could all change with the possibility of the number one pick changing hands in live trading on the night. West Coast have a decision to make – take a deal from North Melbourne or Melbourne for a suite of early picks or go to the draft with pick one (likely Harley Reid) and 23.

If you’re the Eagles, of course you’re going to leave that decision to the absolute last minute to squeeze out the best deal you can, opening up the small chance that pick one may be in play on draft night for the first time ever. On top of all that there is also the likelihood of clubs like Essendon, Geelong and Adelaide try to move their own first round picks.

As pure spectacle, it might not be as magnificent as receiving multiple concussions on Japanese television but it could give us the first ever possible reason to google “Famous AFL draft moments”.

– Live Pick Trading Excitement Knob.

Kevin “Shifter” Sheehan has never met a prospect he didn’t like

Shifter deserves an Australian Day honour for services rendered to AFL recruitment. He’s been delivering sermons with a religious fervour from the junior footy pulpit for decades. The only small issue? He’s delivered it about every single junior player put in front of him. There isn’t a negative trait Shifter won’t manage to turn into a positive: slow = crafty, overweight = AFL ready body, shit = positionless.

… But you can hardly hold this against the great man. He is a generational talent with enough enthusiasm and positivity to radiate through the screen and sober you up after your twelfth shot of the night. Drink!

– Kevin “Shifter” Sheehan, Rover and Draft Guru.